Has Christmas come and gone yet? I just cannot get into the mood this year. I'm feeling like I did the year we celebrated my dad's last Christmas; it just wasn't "there". I think my life is coming up on a change...at least I hope so. I've been looking for employment as I just don't think I can stay at my job much longer. I've been saying that for the past 3 years, but this time I think it's for real. When I was called in and given a 10-cent-an- hour-raise (for a great review mind you) it hit me that "it's time". I was given the same raise last review period and was given a less than favorable review so I'm not sure I'm seeing the incentive here. The company is going through some difficult times right now, but come on, 10 cents is an insult. When I approached the boss I was told that this is about as much as I will make. I knew from the start that this was only temporary but I fell into a rut and felt like I'd never go any further than where I'm at. That all changed after my conversation with my brother a couple of weeks ago. He reminded me that no one is looking out for me, no one is going to make me rich. Hell, no one is going to make me "comfortable" except me. He just kind of threw some things out for me to chew on and think about. So I'm on the hunt again. I'm looking for another job which I absolutely hate to do. I hate having to sell myself. I had an interview yesterday with a fairly large company that I think would offer some security. Everyone I interviewed with had been there no less than 5 years. The only set back to this particular job is that they are relocating farther into RTP which would make for a crappy commute. The flip side to that would be if they offered me a nice chunk. Would it be worth it? Who knows. If anything, I've gotten some more interviewing experience.

DH has had another company approach him twice about coming over to work for them. It's sounds promising, but I think he and them are waiting until after the holidays to talk nuts and bolts. They're pretty much offering him the same pay as what he's making now, he just wants to be guaranteed a 40-hour work week. We'll see.

We've been planning to go down to see the fam for Christmas but nothing has been set in stone. I haven't told my mom that we're planning to visit just incase our plans flop. I'm a little leary about the car situation but DH has faith that Bess will make another trip just fine. I always worry and she does just fine everytime we go. That poor car, I don't know how many trips we've made down there and each trip is about 1000 miles round trip. We were making that trip every weekend for about the last month my dad was alive. Leave Raleigh @ 5am, get to GA around 1pm stay the night and leave GA around noon the next day. We were'nt there 24 hours. Those were some tough weekends, but I'd do it all again. We just need to do a few minor things (a new front tire, change the plugs, that kind of stuff) and she'll be good to go. I really, really want to go as I'm needing a Ruiz Zoo fix awfully bad. I'm dying to see my great-neice and Miss Abby (youngest neice). Middle brother is coming from CA. My family so much fun to hang out with.

So here I sit, pressing my hands together really, really tight praying that everything works out.